Twas the Night Before Christmas
by Reach4thestars19
Summary: While reading a holiday classic to her younger brother, Rose sees a familiar blue box and a man who not only looks like a time lord, but left her nearly a year ago.


"Rose? Will you read me the story?"

Rose smiled a little as she turned to face her little brother, who was clutching the book, hugging it close to his body. He was growing up fast. She remembered the day he was born. She had been so focused on finding the Doctor that she knew she didn't spend much time with him as a baby.

She had found the Doctor and yet, had still ended up back here. With the human version of the Doctor. The man who went by the name John Smith. Over time, it had gotten easier for her to say John instead of Doctor. John moved in with the Tylers and was given one of the guest rooms as his own.

It took time for Rose and John to get to know each other. To Rose, it was like getting to know a whole new person.

As they spend time together, Rose started to realize that though John looked just like the Doctor, he was different. She noticed small little things. His voice had a different accent. He didn't seem to have such a big weight on his shoulders and he seemed to get along better with her Mum than the Doctor normally did. He also mentioned the future, which was something the Doctor had shied away from.

Then there was when she saw John with Tony. She had not seen the Doctor around a lot of children and certainly not when they weren't running for their lives or trying to save the world. Yet, John had a way with children. At least with Tony. John would tell him stories, stories from the adventures he and Rose had shared, plus a few others. He also would play games with him. Rose thought more than once that John would be a good father and wondered about the Doctor. Would he be like that?

One of the big differences was also John's ability to stay in one place. The Doctor never stayed anywhere for long. On the other hand, John was willing to stay. Yes, they explored this new world, seeing what London had to offer, yet he hadn't run off on some mission to save the world. He grew the TARDIS and though Rose helped as much as she could, she hadn't known the first thing about it. They were going to grow it together and then take off on brilliant adventures. At least, that had been her plan. John apparently didn't feel the same way.

"Sure," Rose responded as she turned away from the window where she was watching a very faint snow fall over everything. It was beautiful with the snow outside and the lights twinkling from where they were put around the house and on the trees. Of course, the inside of their house was amazing too. There was a Christmas tree, one that didn't move, already put up and decorated. There was garland with bows and even some Christmas lights strung up inside. There was a fire going in the fireplace, casting a cheery glow over everything. Rose had to admit, it was festive.

She sat down on a comfortable, plush chair, and then lifted Tony so he could sit on her lap. "Oi, you are getting big," she remarked. "Soon you'll be too old to sit on my lap, won't you?"

"Not yet," he replied and set the book next to Rose so he could hug her with both arms. Rose hugged him back and though she missed the Doctor and the travels, she knew she would miss this if she had stayed with him. It was probably the first time she was glad to be there. She also had her parents, who were currently visiting some friends. It was a little strange to have a father, but it was nice.

Rose was pulled from her thoughts when she felt Tony put a hand on her cheek. "Rose, are you still sad?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, forcing a small smile.

"John left and you were sad. You still look sad."

Rose sighed a little. She could lie, but that seemed silly to do. "Sometimes I get a little sad," she said. She actually felt quite sad, but what could she do?

John and Rose had gotten closer and Rose had fallen in love with the Doctor's human counterpart. Shortly after the start of the new year, when everyone was gone, they started kissing and neither of them stopped it. Rose remembered how easily picked her up and carried her to his bedroom. She remembered her heart racing, scared yet excited because she knew this would change everything between them. She remembered the look on his face as he laid her on the bed and told her he loved her. How his eyes wandered over her every time another article of clothing was removed from her body, whether by her hand or his, it didn't matter.

She wasn't sure if the Doctor had experience making love and it had passed onto John or if John had just learned very quickly, but either way, it had been amazing. She had never felt that complete with any man before and when she curled up in his arms, exhausted but happy, she knew there was no other place she wanted to be.

Apparently, John didn't feel the same way.

She woke up the next morning slowly and remembered what had happened before she opened her eyes. She smiled and turned, reaching for him, but her hand just met the mattress. Curious, her eyes fluttered open and she realized that she was alone. Where he had been sleeping, there was just a piece of paper.

She picked it up and read it. Rose remembered how her hand trembled as she read.

_Dear Rose, _

_I am so sorry. I hope one day you'll understand and forgive me. _

Rose had glanced around the room at that point and noticed that some of the drawers were open and that some of the clothes seemed to be missing. Also, the TARDIS that they had been growing was gone as well. That was the last time she saw or heard from him.

Rose shook her head at the memories. Not now. "Let's read the story," she suggested.

Tony nodded happily and curled up close to her as she opened the book to the first page which had beautiful illustrations to go along with the story. Then she started to read.

"'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house.

Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care

In hopes that Saint Nicolas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds

While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads.

"And Mama in her 'kerchief and I in my cap

Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutter and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow

Gave the luster of midday to the objects below.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear-"

"A blue box," Tony interrupted.

Rose stopped and looked at him, confused. "What?"

"A blue box," he repeated and pointed out the window.

Rose followed the direction he pointed and gasped. There was a familiar blue police box. She felt her heart racing and wondered what this meant. How was this even possible?

Then she saw a figure, standing next to it. He wasn't dressed in a trenchcoat and a suit and she knew without a doubt that it was John. The TARDIS must have finished growing. That had to be the newly grown TARDIS.

Yet, what was he doing here?

Rose slid Tony off her lap before she got to her feet. "Stay here," she told him firmly, hoping he would listen. She quickly pulled on her jacket which was hanging the coat rack and pulled on the boots that were by the door.

She shut the door behind her and then started to walk over to the TARDIS and John. She stopped a few feet away and from both and just looked at John. John looked back at her, but looked nervous and couldn't seem to meet her gaze.

"I see it has grown," she finally said, just to end the awkward silence with a small tilt of her head toward the TARDIS.

He nodded in response. "Yes. Enough to come back here. It will need a few more days before it can do more." Again there was silence and Rose found herself getting upset. What was he doing here after all this time? What did he expect her to do when she saw him? She thought the night had meant something to both of them and all it had done was made him run away. It had been nearly a year and yet here he was? Where had he been? Why did he leave? Why was he back?

All these questions ran through her mind so finally she just asked. "Why?"

He looked nervous and ran his fingers through his hair, causing tufts of it to stick up. "You know it is hard to stay in one place for long."

"In one place or one place with me?" she countered. "If you wanted to travel, why did you sneak off in the middle of the night after-"

She stopped herself and turned away from him, folding her arms over her chest.

She heard him sigh. "Rose…I wish I knew why. I just felt the need to travel somewhere else. I felt it for awhile. I needed to just get away and think."

"Then why didn't you just tell me?" she protested, still not facing him. "I would have gone with you."

She heard footsteps and he was standing in front of her. "I needed to go alone. I am not a normal man. I never had a childhood. The childhood, my life, my history. It was his. All the stories I told Tony, they weren't mine. I know you see me and think of the Doctor. I'm not him though. I'm John Smith."

Rose met his eyes. "I know that," she told him, her voice soft. "When we spent that night together…it was you. Not him."

"Do you still miss him?" John asked.

Rose hesitated as she thought about this. "It's complicated." John sighed and turned to walk away, but Rose grabbed his arm. "Yes, okay. I do miss him. You know what we've been through. You know all of that. But is that a reason to walk away? Again? John, when I told you I loved you, I meant it. I still do, though sometimes I wish I didn't because you left me. Just like he did."

Rose noticed her vision getting blurry and she wiped her eyes, her hand coming away wet. She was crying. She quickly wiped away at them.

John stood there, looking stunned, as if he didn't know what to do or say. He wasn't the Doctor and he knew he had to go away to think about that, but he didn't think of it as leaving her. He always was going to come back.

Seeing her tears, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. Rose stiffened for just a moment then let herself lean against him and she buried her face in his shoulder. He felt her shake and then heard a quiet, muffled sob.

His arms tightened around her and he felt his heart ache, knowing he had caused her this much pain. Not just him, but the Doctor as well.

John started to rub small circles on her back with one hand, the other still keeping her close, letting her cry. "Rose…I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

As her tears slowed, then stopped, he felt her shudder as she took a deep breath, then another to help calm down. He didn't let go of her though and she didn't try to pull away. John wasn't sure how long they stood there, silent. It could have been minutes or it could have been hours. The only passage of time was the lightly falling snow.

After some time, Rose spoke up. "I should get back to Tony." She slid out of his embrace, but he grabbed her shoulders to stop her.

"Rose. I never wanted to hurt you. I needed to figure out who I was."

"I know," she answered, but she was looking down.

"Rose Tyler, if you'll have me back, I won't leave you again. Never again." His words were spoken with such intensity that she looked up at him.

"Never?"

"Never," he repeated. "I want to spend my life with you, Rose. In a few days, the TARDIS will be ready and it will need some travelers. We could go back to traveling the world. Or rather, we can start to travel the world," he corrected himself. "Go through time and space. If you want me back, I won't ever leave you again. I promise."

"It almost sounds like you're proposing," Rose commented.

John paused and reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small ring box. "I was going to wait until New Year's Eve, but-"

He didn't get a chance to answer before Rose had his arms around him and was kissing him deeply. He was surprised by this, but kissed her back, one hand tangling in her hair, the other arm wrapped around her waist.

They both finally pulled back for air and he saw Rose grin.

"So you forgive me?" he asked.

Rose paused. "I know a ring like that, it means you are serious. But you've a lot of making up to do. Especially if you still plan on proposing on New Year's Eve."

"You think you might say yes?" John ventured.

"I think you can probably find a way to convince me," she smiled, and then she glanced at the house. "I should get back inside. I did promise to read Tony a story."

John wondered if that was an invitation for him, then Rose held out her hand and wiggled her fingers. "Better with two." John couldn't help but smile as he took her hand.

"Better with two," he agreed.


End file.
